Saturday, September 19, 2009

Oh help me god I'm building a website!

I'm about to wade through the choppy ocean waves of website development, chasing the idea that could quite lead to the manifestation of a tangible form of my dream, all the while gasping for breath and fighting off sharks, trying to stay afloat.

Welcome that to the world of creating a one-dimensional structure on the internet. Friends, I'm building a website. I've scoured the internet, or "the web," as the cool kids say, for a cozy little spot to burrow down inside of and nest for a while. Building. I thought of a name and bought it and am starting to construct.

The website I'm building is called The Conscious Nomad. It's true, there's nothing there yet but don't fear friends! Something will be there soon. In fact, I should tell you that I'm currently looking for writers, either travelers who write well, back-packers who blog, or writers who travel write. I'll take any submissions. Just think travel - but consciously. Look for the official invitation and more on the subject of conscious travel in the next blog, coming very soon.

But, in the beginning... There was the World-Wide-Web. That's a mouthful, for sure. So is WWW, really, and especially the way our ex-idiot-in-chief president used to pronounce the letter. Ah, the world-wide-web. Worldwide! Where would I be without you? You came into my life when I was just a young lass of 13. I would stay up way too late, using my father's computer to log in to CompuServe and chat with faceless humans all over the states. Mostly, we'd chat about music - Nirvana and Pearl Jam were the ones that I liked the most back then. Heck, Eddie Vedder circa 1993-1997 was a big topic for me. I had such a crush on him. Eddie, if you're out there, I'm available!! ;)


My relationship to the World Wide Web was indeed magical. World Wide Web, I fell in love with you then, a little bit. Ours was a co-dependent relationship - you liked the feel of human fingers on your buttons and I was absolutely enthralled by your endless possibilities. I'm still in love with you in, internet, and you're still as elusive and enigmatic as ever. A little bit like the Loch Ness monster. Just not as wet and chilly.

The internet is everywhere. It's vast, stunning. Stretching. Expanding to farther and farther slightly darkened corners of the earth. Hell, it's even finally working itself into Africa, broadband style, so that the dark continent will soon be lightened up a bit and can finally start inching it's way toward a level playing field to compete with the rest of the world upon.

It's everywhere. It's wireless signal is creeping slowly out of your home office and into the hallway, circling around your kitchen frigerator. It's crawling on the floor and into the dining room, slithering around your couch until up on the sofa and right in your face. The world-wide-web, much like Mr. Lovegrove, is ubiquitous, and it's getting bigger by the nano-second, fucking and multiplying like rabbits and their wretchedly cute offspring.

The Conscious Nomad is my new project and I'm finally dedicating time (not nearly enough, though) to it, like a poor little unattended baby. There, there, child, I'll come back to you soon. My problem is, I suppose, time management. I'm so fixated to living in the now that I let the now overtake me, leaving no breathing room for later. Maybe all this "be here now" mantra stuff I've adopted is reaching into my brain and taking hold of the frontal lobe or wherever it is that old Id of mine is located and sneaking up and shaking it's hand, helping the little Id on it's way. Perhaps this living in the now, care little about the future body of thought has gotten to be too easy to accept. I think that's why I'm trying to devote time to this project; this idea, this website, this realization that I can manifest something if I keep moving forward and try the best I can. I believe in this for everyone; being conscious that your situation is changeable, maliable, flexible. I don't want to hear excuses. Sometimes we can be in pretty deep; I realize that. But then we must make little changes here and there. They do make a difference.

I like the budhist way of living. I don't know a great deal about it but what I know I agree with and respect. I try to incorporate some of that tradition into my life; it just makes sense. The living in the now, the acceptance that perhaps this is all we have, this moment, and everything else doesn't exist. I don't mean to deduct importance from the past, or question the leviety of the future, but all I have for sure is right now.

I do have a tendency to ramble, don't I? What does that characteristic say about someone? (Rhetorical, of course). Back to the website. Having a project is important. Having goals are important. Having lists and being able to cross items off said list is important. That's what I'm trying to do; keep moving forward. Maybe I had felt a bit stagnant there for a while, and still feel a bit in limbo (do I stay in California? Do I go back to Berlin?) and, admittedly, always staying incredibly busy, but I'm discovering avenues to pursue that hopefully lead to forward motion and freedom. I just need to dedicate the appropriate amount of time to realizing these things.

Manifest. Don't forget it.

So I'm stoked. And I'm killing time, waiting for a conformation email to reach me from WordPress headquarters. And then I'll be off to start the process - which, at this point, will be downloading WordPress software on my computer and installing. Then I'll be off to build! So, if you'll excuse me, I must be running. It's time to kickstart the ignition and take off.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Put on your thinking cap

and write yourself a blog. To sort it all out. Because, right now, like Kyle from work says (and, holy HELL if I had not turned on this computer to write myself a quick blog I would have completely forgotten to call the kid to let him know about the evening's events - more later on that) "I'm a little cloudy." Meaning, literally, I'm a tad bit stoned; figuratively, I got some shit I got to sort out, in my head."

So welcome to my thinking session.

I've had a great day. It's at the in-between right now; the I'm-here-but-I'm-supposed-to-be-on-my-way-to-there state

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Google Fortune / Google Biz Kit is a SCAM

And I just got taken.

For $1.97. But it could have easily been more. A link was sent to me via email from my father, who I trust. So I clicked and I read and I signed up. The website looked legit; a falsified site called The New York Gazette (which appears like a newspaper but in small print is written something like "not affiliated with any newspaper publication") and hypes up the product - a product that boasts that even children can work for home, do virtually nothing, pay virtually nothing, and make a shit load! What a deal! Well I totally fell for it. We must remember, kids, what dear old Grandmother used to say: If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

End result: I've had to cancel my debit card. Shame, shame, shame on me for giving that site my number over the internet. Not a smart move. And of course that $1.97, which, for now, I'll deduct from my "that was a really stupid move" account.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Goodbye stranger

Does everyone remember the drug dealer? I wrote a blog or two, two or three blogs back, about this gentleman. Well, sports fans, I've received news. He was allegedly recently arrested. On charges that I will refrain from mentioning at this point, not only because they make me feel very nauseas inside, but because the facts haven't been verified yet. Awesome. I sure know how to pick 'em, eh?

I did, however, call the Davis county jail yesterday and spoke with a very unfriendly, unhelpful woman who told me "well why don't you just ask him yourself" when I asked if she could look up if they his name on her inmate list. Thanks bitch. I was hoping that my questions would have been answered, will be answered. I would like to know if it is true. I would like to say it doesn't matter either way. But it does. Don't get me wrong, I'm still done with him, done with that situation, and hopefully done with dating crazy men in their mid-twenties, but I still want to know if it's true. It most likely is.

Gosh golly, I guess I'm a bit frustrated. Do I tell people, "Oh yeah, the last guy I dated is in jail on charges I would rather not discuss." Hmm? At least I was able to get out of that one before it went barreling off a cliff with me strapped inside, screaming and plummeting.

On a somewhat unrelated side note, I've decided to sign up for okcupid.com. (Remember I said I was frustrated?) Arghhh. Argh argh and double argh. Maybe signing up for - gulp - online dating will only further frustrate me. Yeah, online dating, friends. I'm going to try it out and see how it goes. Does it offer criminal background checks? It should! No, actually, to be honest, I had also just tried a 3 month trial membership on Match.com that ended as uneventfully as it started. I met - let's see - 1, 2, 3 guys from Match.com. Two were quite nice, just no sparks. One is now a peripheral friend. The third guy was not cool, definitely not cool, in a sorta pushy and almost grabby way. I got out of there as fast as I could muster.

Back to the facts. I'm single and I'm ready to mingle. Really! I'm not gonna lie about it. I'm a bad ass chick, too, let me tell you. And that's why I can post this sort of shit on my blog. I don't care what people think about me; I don't really care if ya like me or if you don't. I'm just me and I think that I'm a pretty chill chickadee. I'm trying to live my life in the most badass sort of way right now. Making every moment count, although still, in the back of my mind, dreaming about Europe, about Berlin. I can't wait to go back.

So I'm off to finish up my new okcupid.com profile - oh how I detest yet secretly kinda like those things - and start trolling for guys who are hopefully far from the troll type. Wish me luck.